Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
