this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
