so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's Friday. Sex?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
