think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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