VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
