Im at strip club and am horny
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
