My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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