everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
