Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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