It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Your penis caused this!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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