he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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