Buhtt sex?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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