her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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