i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Your penis caused this!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
