the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
