he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Still dying that you shit outside
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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