Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
