I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
