I want to walk on stilts...naked
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
