Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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