K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She bit a glass in half.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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