Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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