I think I just saw someone hide a body.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
