I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
