You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
