To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
