You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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