I wish life had little blips of pornography
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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