God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
