I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
