Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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