I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Two words: blizzard sex
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
