Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
