no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
