oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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