nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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