I am in a vortex of obligation.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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