I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
