hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize