So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
