i love accidental penises.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
