Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize