You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
