Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
