she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
