He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
