i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's just like the Real World with babies
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize