I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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