I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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