Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
