Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
