I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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