Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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