just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
