Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
