I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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