I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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