Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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