You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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