if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i think i have two assholes
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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